Ad Infinitum
by greenandred124
Summary: James knows he has been wronged. No seven year old deserves to experience the death of a parent. He wants to compensate for it, even if it means saying goodbye forever. Warning: DEATH, and SLASH. James/Carlos First Jarlos multi-chap!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! First Jarlos multi-chap right here. I was randomly thinking about this one day…so I decided to type what was in my head. I hope you like this idea. (:**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_Fire. Burning. A crash. Smoke so thick, the sun seems nonexistent. The sound of commotion and panic heavy in the air. A definite act of terror. Why in the hell would anybody in their right mind do this?_

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Terrorism: a simple word with all too much of a dreadful meaning. Of course, for some, they don't understand that meaning in the full sense of the word. Those who experienced the realistic feeling of loss know how much impact it has.

Seven year old James Diamond had no problem relating to that word. It was something he knew of vaguely, but he understood the overall of it. His mommy was gone, never to come back to him.

You see, his mommy had gone on a business trip, leaving behind her husband and son. James had begged her not to go. He was going to miss her for the two weeks that she was gone. She promised to call him every night and sing him to sleep. James hugged his mommy's legs tightly, tears rolling down his cheeks. She stooped down, dried his eyes, kissed his cheek, and told him to be a good boy for Daddy. With those parting words, she left James in the care of her loving husband, David.

Isabella Diamond did not think two weeks would seem that long. What she didn't realize was that two weeks would turn into forever.

She got on her plane that was heading to New Jersey. Her flight was going to then connect to San Francisco, where her business meeting was to be held. The flight from Minnesota to New Jersey was a very comfortable flight. When she got to Newark, New Jersey's, Liberty International Airport, she checked into her gate. The time was about 6:45 in the morning. She had an hour until she would board her flight to San Francisco. She stared admiringly at the picture in her carry-on that James had drawn for her just the day before.

Isabella had looked at the departure time of her flight. 8:13 AM, September 11, 2001.

She was snapped out of her thoughts as a flight attendant announced over the loudspeaker, "United Airlines Flight 93 is now boarding."

She boarded her plane and waited for the flight to take off. Once in the air, she settled back in her seat, preparing for the long, six hour flight that was ahead of her.

About a half hour into the flight, the captain came on to the PA system in a slightly panicked voice. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. The flight has been hijacked. We are going down in Pennsylvania. We ask that you remain calm. Give your families a call, as it may be the last. We are truly sorry."

Tears had begun to form in Isabella's eyes. She dialed her home number on her new cell phone her company had given her. David had already gone to work and James had been taken to school at that point. She had no choice but to leave a message.

"Leave your message for Daddy, Mommy, and me, and we'll call you back soon. Promise," James's voice spoke from the answering machine.

"David, James. I love you very much. My flight has been hijacked…we're going to crash. I can already feel us going down. I just wanted you to remember me forever. You can find my will in my nightstand drawer, David. James, I'll be watching out for you from Heaven. I'll always be there, baby boy. I can't believe this is happening. I'm going to miss you both. Goodbye, my two favorite men."

The plane began to lose altitude rapidly. Some of the passengers were hitting their heads on the ceiling of the plane. They dropped faster and faster. Isabella prayed silently that nothing would change, even if she wasn't going to be there to watch her son grow up. With that thought, the plane hit the ground and Isabella soon had no thought left. She was gone.

James had come home from school early that day. His daddy had picked him up. James wasn't sure what was going on. All he knew was that Mommy was never coming home. He was crying softly in the backseat of his daddy's Toyota.

James ran into the kitchen where he noticed a voicemail message on the phone. He pressed the play button and listened, tears running down his cheeks. "But Mommy, you promised you'd be home soon. How could you break that promise?"

David hugged his son tightly. He knew things were going to be difficult from there on.

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17 year old, James Diamond was remembering his mother on the tenth anniversary of 9/11. He couldn't believe that ten years had passed since his mother was on board Flight 93 and killed by terrorists from Al-Qaeda. James teared up at the thought. He let a few tears slip out silently.

17 year old, Carlos Garcia sat next to his boyfriend of a year and a half on the couch and hugged him tightly.

James accepted the hug and held onto Carlos tightly. Carlos was what kept James alive. If it weren't for Carlos, he didn't know what he would have done.

In fact, Carlos had actually stopped James from self-harm several times. And Carlos always managed to keep it a secret. He promised James that he would never tell a soul, and he didn't.

"I know it's tough, James. Remember the best qualities of your mom. But also think about what you have in us. You were brought closer to all of us because of what happened. Remember our friendship. Remember our romance. And probably most important to you, remember that we're famous. Your mom wouldn't want to see you crying right now. She's very proud of you."

"You're right…I'm sorry. I love you." James wiped his eyes and kissed Carlos on the lips gently.

Carlos ran his fingers through James's flawless hair. "Don't be sorry. Just remember the good things. And I love you too." Carlos rubbed James's arm softly for comfort.

All the while, James was thinking about his future plan for next year. Of course he wanted to be famous, but there was one thing he wanted to do more. And he knew he would do it next year, even if it meant giving up the spotlight for good.

**A/N: Well? What did you think? It turned out better than I thought. I was initially gonna run with Mrs. Diamond in the World Trade Center, but my idea soon shifted. At least six reviews for the next chapter, please. Much love, xoxo. (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the wait. As promised, here's the second chapter. Hope you like. (:**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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-1 Year Later-

James was sitting on the couch, the same way he had a year ago. He was now eighteen. He knew what that meant. It was time.

James got up, grabbed his car keys, and drove downtown. He walked into the building that said, "Recruiting Center" in the windows.

"Hello," a man with a crew-cut and glasses, sitting at a desk said pleasantly as James walked in. "Interested in enlisting in the United States military?"

"Yes sir," James responded with a nod.

"Fantastic! Let me just get you some paperwork to fill out…" The man walked off to retrieve the sheets he had just printed off.

James filled out the papers hastily. He sealed the deal by signing the last autograph he would be giving out for awhile. The papers were signed, and there was no turning back.

"Thank you very much, Mr. Diamond. We will be in contact with you and let you know when you will be deployed."

James nodded and stood up solemnly, shaking the man's hand, now finally satisfied with himself.

James returned to the Palmwoods and began to think. He knew he was going to miss everyone. But, they'd understand.

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-About a Month Later-

A happy Carlos answered the ringing house phone giddily. "Hello?"

"Hi, I'm calling to speak to James Diamond. Is he available?" a voice on the phone replied.

"Uh…no. He just left. I can take a message."

"This is the army recruitment center calling. We just wanted to let James know that he's being deployed in two and a half weeks."

"There's gotta be a mistake…James isn't in the army."

"He is now. He enlisted a month ago."

Carlos felt his heart sinking. "Oh…okay. I'll let him know you called."

"Thank you. Bye."

Carlos let the phone fall from his shaking hands. How could James enlist for the army and not tell anybody? Carlos felt genuinely hurt.

James came back to the apartment a little later carrying two smoothies. He went back to his room where he had left Carlos.

He found Carlos on his bed, sobbing. "Carlos. What's wrong?" James set down the smoothies and plopped down on the Latino's bed. He slowly reached over and hugged him tightly.

"James, you can't leave us," the younger boy choked out, "I love you too much to see you get killed."

"I'm not going to get killed. I'll come home to you guys on my leave when I can, and you'll see. It'll be okay."

"James, you don't know that! Anything can happen. The younger boy began to cry even harder.

"I love you. I promise I'll come back to you, Carlos."

"You better keep that promise, James Diamond." Carlos calmed down a bit and forced a smile.

"I will. When am I leaving?" James continued to hold onto Carlos.

"Two and a half weeks." Carlos sucked in a shaky breath.

_I need to make the next couple weeks special for Carlos_, James thought. He nodded and kissed Carlos with a new passion. One that meant that he loved Carlos so much…and one that also signaled his fear of no return.

Carlos kissed him back with the same passion and stopped crying all together.

Starting right then and there, Carlos was going to have the greatest half of a month ever.

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James had shown Carlos the greatest time of his life. He had taught him how to surf, ate corndogs daily (even though he wasn't too fond of them), wrote him a song, and shared many kisses at night.

Although the time was the best, it had ended far too quickly and James was leaving that day.

Carlos was driving James to the airport with Kendall and Logan in the back. The entire time, he had one hand on the steering wheel, the other tightly grasping James's hand. Carlos could barely recognize the boy next to him. He was no longer the self-centered James Diamond. He was a pensive, older-seeming teen without his beloved locks, but instead, a crew-cut that would have mortified him just two years prior.

James would occasionally look over Carlos, whose eyes were filled with tears.

As they arrived at the airport, James squeezed Carlos's hand. Kendall and Logan exchanged glances knowing that goodbyes had to soon come.

James got where he needed to be in the airport. The boys were with him, waiting until he had to board the plane.

The flight began to board and it seemed almost surreal. Carlos felt like everything was slipping away from him. His time with James was now going to be over for awhile.

James embraced Kendall first. "Stay strong, and take good care of Carlos for me. He needs someone to talk to, and you're the best at giving advice. Love you, bro."

Kendall nodded solemnly and bit his lower lip.

Next, James went to Logan. "Logie, now's your chance to become a doctor like you've always wanted to. Do it for me." James hugged Logan tightly.

"I will," Logan responded with a nod, tears hinting at falling any minute.

"And Carlos. My dear, Carlos. You are my everything. You always will be. I love you so much, and I want you to never forget me, no matter what happens."

"James, you promised you'll come back."

"I know. Anything can happen. But I will come back to you, I just know it." James held Carlos as he had the day that Carlos found out he was going to serve in the army.

"I love you James." Carlos began to cry onto James's shirt.

"I love you too. I'll write to you. Make sure you write back. It can be like one of those cheesy romance stories." James let out an uneasy laugh.

Carlos didn't laugh, but instead started to cry more. "I will write back. I promise. Every day I am going to write you until you come home."

James smiled. "Good. Now I have to get going. It's going to be alright." James kissed Carlos goodbye.

Carlos reluctantly let go of James, tears running down his cheeks. He watched as James boarded the plane and waved goodbye one final time. The plane soon took off, and James was gone. Logan, Kendall, and Carlos all stood crying in the airport for some time hugging each other. Nobody bothered them.

When they left, Carlos figured he would start his lonely days by writing James a letter. He sat down at the desk in the room he and James shared and scrawled in his messy handwriting:

_Day 1:_

_October 13, 2012_

_James,_

_I miss you so much. And it's not even my first full day without you. I can't bear to think of what could happen to you. Words cannot describe what I'm going through. Usually I'm so at ease and happy, but now all I want to do is…_

_I'm rambling. That's not the point. The point is, I'm so scared for you. You have no idea what to expect. What if something happens? As much as I want to believe that you're going to come home, it's so difficult for me. But, I need to think positively._

_In two months when you're on your leave for Christmas, you have no idea how happy I will be just to have you in my arms once again. That's all I need. To know you're safe. _

_I won't sleep easy for these next two months. How could I when the bed next to mine is empty? Your figure should be on that bed. It shouldn't be this way. I should look over and see you next to me. The steady rise and fall of your chest letting me know that you're alive and okay. But now, anything can happen and I won't know. _

_See? I switch back and forth from positive to negative. My brain is screaming at me. I'm so confused, afraid, and even a bit angry. I'm angry not at you, but at what made you do this. If this had never happened, I should think that you'd still be here with us in California, living out your dream. I'm so full of hatred…I don't think I'll ever be the same Carlos Garcia again, James. _

_Just please come back to me, okay? That's all I want. I know you can do that. _

_I love you so much. As promised, I will write to you every day, including this one. Stay safe, my brave soldier._

_Love,_

_Carlos_

_P.S. Write back to me when you get this._

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**A/N: So, what did you think? Six reviews for next chapter again, guys. Much love. (:**


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